Malaysian Driving Tips

This is an illustration of my journey to Futsal today. I'm the small black line with bad brakes.

Yeah, I almost died once driving here in Malaysia, but I've learned a thing or two since.

Rule #1: A red light only means "stop" if you can see a police car nearby.

Rule #2: Assume everyone is D.U.I.

Rule #3: Always D.U.I. It's safer that way.

Rule #4: "Summons or settle?" Gotta admit, this one is pretty sweet. RM 50 can solve any problem.

Rule #5: Might is right! Don't question it! I did and ended up in the hospital.

Rule #6: If you can't text while driving, you shouldn't be on the road.

Rule #7: Forget about road rage because the person who just cut you off was an 86 year old woman.

Rule #8: Scooters get no respect, so driving a scooter is something like a death wish. It's an amazing high when you arrive home alive.

Rule #9: Never get in a Proton with a guy named Aziz.

These are just my thoughts. Anyone reading this in Malaysia, please feel free to add to my list.

Peace,
Dave