Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Ben Teh Incident

Ben was my student in I.B. last semester. All semester we would argue about who is the greatest wrestler of all time. I said Hulk Hogan and he said the Nature Boy Rick Flair. We almost fought a few times. By the end of the semster I turned him into a Hulkamaniac.

The Incident

Ben was hanging out with some of my current students today. They saw me and asked me if I'd like to join them for lunch.

Ben: Sir, why do you always eat lunch alone?

Sir: I just like to eat quickly and get back to work.

Edmund: Sir, can you speak Mandarin?

Sir: Not really, I only know a few survival words.

Ben: But you must know all the bad words right?

Sir: Not really, never used them. I think I know one.

Edumund: Which one?

Sir: I don't want to say it because it might offend you.

Edmund: Just say it!

Sir: *&! $#

Edmund: Oh, you mean @#$ %^

Sir: Yeah, I guess so.

Edmund: Nice try sir.....

Ben was drinking some kind of milk tea at the time and I'm not sure what triggered it, but when Edmund said, "Nice try sir" Ben started convulsing with laughter. I'm not going to say what happened next, but let's just say that my lunch was inedible after that.

Ben Teh: I.B. student 4 life.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

English Teacher X

I'll be honest, 99.99% of blogs are complete poop (mine included). Unless you actually know the person, most blogs are meaningless. If for some reason, you came to this blog to get an idea of what it's like to teach in another country, I'd like to refer you to:

If he wasn't so addicted to booze and women, he'd have actually made something of his life. I'm not sure if I feel sorry for him or wish I was him.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

Golfing in Genting

I went golfing today at Awana Golf Resort in Genting Highlands. Needless to say that the weather was cool (for Malaysia) and the scenery was fantastic. Unfortunately, I didn't bring my camera and I can't find any good pictures of the place on the Internet. The only bad thing about the day was my score. I think the high altitutde tired me out after eight holes.

Total Damage for green fee, buggy, and caddy was RM 107($33).

Perfect day!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Malaysian Driving Tips

This is an illustration of my journey to Futsal today. I'm the small black line with bad brakes.

Yeah, I almost died once driving here in Malaysia, but I've learned a thing or two since.

Rule #1: A red light only means "stop" if you can see a police car nearby.

Rule #2: Assume everyone is D.U.I.

Rule #3: Always D.U.I. It's safer that way.

Rule #4: "Summons or settle?" Gotta admit, this one is pretty sweet. RM 50 can solve any problem.

Rule #5: Might is right! Don't question it! I did and ended up in the hospital.

Rule #6: If you can't text while driving, you shouldn't be on the road.

Rule #7: Forget about road rage because the person who just cut you off was an 86 year old woman.

Rule #8: Scooters get no respect, so driving a scooter is something like a death wish. It's an amazing high when you arrive home alive.

Rule #9: Never get in a Proton with a guy named Aziz.

These are just my thoughts. Anyone reading this in Malaysia, please feel free to add to my list.


Sunday, January 20, 2008

Sex Room

When I used to live in Korea and China, I'd go on short trips almost every weekend. I haven't really done that here in Malaysia. Well, the semester is young and the work hasn't piled up yet so I decided to run away to Ipoh.

Friday: Checked into hotel with mirrors all over the room. I chose the wrong section of town. I was actually a little bit scared for my safety for the first time in Malaysia. I decided that this would be a very short trip.

Saturday: Checked out of seediest hotel in universe and planned on getting a bus home. I decided to go to a British pub for lunch before going home. The food was great and I had an awesome book, so four beers later it looked like I was going to be spending another night in Ipoh. For some strange reason I checked back into the Hooker Hotel. I talked to a taxi driver and he told me that Ipoh sucked because I didn't go to Y2K. Y2K is an area full of pubs and discos

Y2K: Showed up at Y2K at about 8. Had sushi for dinner and then went to a pub. I was sitting alone with a bucket of Tiger. The waitress was standing near me and seemed to want to talk. She couldn't speak much English, but she assured me that once she has a few beers her English improved (it didn't). We played a dice game that I used to play in Kunshan. Loser had to drink. I think we both scored about 50%. She finished work at 10, but she hung around till about 11 and invited me to a disco for more beers and dice. When I got there I saw her boyfriend and he looked pissed. He didn't talk to me all night. Anyways, I played dice with her friends and had a great old time. Her friends were nice enough to drop me off at the sex hotel.

Don't let the title of this post fool you. No sex took place in this room while I occupied it. That may be untrue. I wouldn't doubt that the hotel would rent the room out for short time stays while guests are out for the day.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Angkor What?

Spent a few days in Siem Reap with some fellow teachers. This was my fifth trip to Cambodia. It just never gets dull. One moment I won't forget is when I was at X Bar on my last night. A few of the waiters and the manager were trying to bust a kickflip on a skateboard. I was feeling pretty good at that time so I walked over and said, "Can I have a try?" Long story short, I almost broke my arm in front of a lot of people.

A picture of Mr. Les taking a picture.

Not my typical PG-13 blog pic. My good blog is a closely guarded secret;)

Christmas Pics

These are a bit late, but I've really only been home for a day.

Sweet tie!

Left to right:

- My sister Michelle
- My niece Brittney
- My mom
- Kurtis with a K

My mom with "my brother" Nik. the most adorable dog in the world. Unfortunately, my eyes almost explode after spending an hour in the same room as him because I'm allergic to all dogs, but poodles.

MCQ Hotshots!

Which car is Mr. Saint's?

A) The Bimmer
B) The broke ass Civic
C) Neither, he drive his father's broke ass Civic.

This is what Scarborough looked like the day after I got back.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The Saints

The newest cartoon from the soon to be famous Balqis.